Sometime in December 2019 I was asked to speak to a pregnant woman who worked for my friend’s husband. She was 33 weeks pregnant from Tamil family and had lots of questions. As it was her first baby and living in a very different culture, being westernised despite coming from very strong cultural family with roots and concrete traditions, things were different for her.
I met her on several occasions explaining all practical things, what to expect and how to do things. I even went to visit her in hospital after birth, had numerous mobile message conversations with Q&A. I went to see her at home when her baby was 14 days old and she was doing really well; baby was thriving and she was recovering nicely.
I feel I became an unqualified psychologist and a counsellor through supporting her, discussing all sorts of problems and issues a new mum faces here in Sri Lanka, especially being from a very religious family but wanting to live differently (against the rules).
On Sunday 12. 1 2020, I was privileged to be invited to a ceremony – Punya dhanam, they held in their home surrounded by their families.
The cradle ceremony is called Punya dhanam. It is performed mostly on the 16th day after childbirth. It’s a day when a small Pooja is performed to purify the house by a priest who chants prayers (for about an hour) and sprinkles holy water in the house making fires.
The paradox was that the priest came to purify the house, however he made a pretty big fire in a bowl full of sand using wood and other ingredients and the smoke was so bad it filled the whole apartment. Poor baby had to be in this smoke. Good job mum was leaving the room frequently to feed her as she was restless.
I have experienced a ritual I had only heard about. The baby was given gifts, mainly money and jewellery. I gave mummy a shawl to use when breastfeeding in public and a contribution towards a new cot. They have no pram nor Moses basket.
I ate with my hand (right one, I washed it twice), and yes, rice and curry, vegetarian as it was Sunday. I must say I did really well, I think I am a much neater hand eater than the locals!
Rennie
